


I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea

by zeldainhiding



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Exams, Fluff and Angst, High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, i love these fucking nerds, ngl im totally venting rn, send help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:55:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7291300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zeldainhiding/pseuds/zeldainhiding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>rei has a breakdown over an exam, nagisa is there to help with rainbow socks and hot tea</p>
<p>title taken from dostoyevsky's notes from underground</p>
            </blockquote>





	I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea

There was a sound like TV static and Rei couldn’t figure out what it was. He just wished it would _shut up_.

He looked to the side of the hall, over the heads and heads nodded down writing on their papers, to the window. Rain was blurring the outside, and Rei considered that his brain felt pretty similar.

Another look around. Everyone heads down. He needed to get his head down.

Rei calmed himself by remembering it was only one question, and he had done the first one no problem. Come back to it later, his common sense said. Some other part of him reflected how much he hated leaving questions blank.

He read over the third problem, and then read it again, and the third time he felt his chest tighten.

He wished the rain would _shut up_. It was _distracting_ him.

Read the question again.

Rei wrote down a few numbers, and turned over to the next question, glancing at the clock. How had so much time already passed?

There was definitely something wrong in Rei’s head. It seemed to be hurting and the rain _shut up shut up shut up_.

Rei tried another, chewing his pen until he’d completed the whole question. That answer is wrong he thought. When will this rain end he thought.

That morning he’d been so confident. Final exam - the hardest one, the one he’d been studying for every day for months. If he could get the top marks, he’d get into one of the top universities in the country.

And he was confident.

So what was wrong? Why was it raining so hard? What was this sick clenching in his chest as he flicked through the paper and saw questions he’d never seen before, never practised before? What was happening?

Rei saw his future swim before his eyes.

He went back to the second question, head throbbing, trying to read the numbers as his vision seemed to blur like his school out of the window.

By the time the exam was over, Rei thought he had maybe answered half of the questions on the paper.

It was still pouring down outside and it started to run cold down Rei’s neck as he pushed past all his fellow students discussing the exam _how did you find it what did you put for question five question two isn’t it exciting that we’re finally done hey Rei how about you hey Rei Rei_

They all had such expectations. Rei couldn’t explain it. He just knew that all his dreams, his plans, his hopes for the future. All of that was gone.

Rei’s glasses were steamed up and his hair was plastered wet against his face as he walked away away from the school from the students from the exam, from his future and everything he had worked for. His chest was still twisted into a tight knot and his head seemed to be swimming - when had that started? The rain was hammering down harder than ever, cold and pressing and, thought a strange part of Rei, what a beautiful pathetic fallacy that was.

Halfway down the road from the school, in the opposite direction from his house, Rei doubled over, clutching his chest because it _hurt_ , it hurt _so much_. And he felt a huge wracking sob come out of his chest. Immediately he was overcome with misery, tears running down his face and gasping wild ugly gasps in a vain attempt to catch his breath. _I’ve ruined it. I’ve ruined everything._ He doubled over the low brick wall of someone’s front garden, sobbing into his already sodden shirtsleeves, no longer caring about the pounding rain on his back or the roaring in his ears or even the agonising stinging of his eyes. All he could think about was how he had lost everything he had worked for, everything he had wanted. It was all gone now, because there was no recovering from that. His future had been lost in the course of a two hour exam.

Rei sobbed until he felt he would run out of breath.

There was a tapping on his back and Rei wondered for a fraction of a second if it was the sleet, but then he seemed to realise that the rain had slowed to a drizzle. Head feeling as though someone was hammering on the inside of it, and vision woozy, Rei raised his head to see a boy looking at him in worry.

‘Are you - stupid question - I mean, clearly not. I - I -’ his eyes were wide and Rei couldn’t really comprehend the stupid noises coming out of his mouth, but then the little blonde boy wrapped him in a huge hug, and Rei stood stiffly, utterly taken aback. But the boy held on, and Rei suddenly found himself so impossibly moved by the show of affection that he was able to recover his breathing, putting his head resignedly on the boys shoulder and consigning himself to a soft weeping.

‘You’re from the school up the road, right? Was it an exam? I just finished mine last week.’ Rei struggled for a second before heaving in a huge gasp of breath and breaking down completely on the boy.

‘Hey, hey now. Come in for a cup of tea.’

Rei tried to refuse but realised he couldn’t make words, so when the boy grabbed his hand and led him up the garden path (the same garden on which the wall had been subject to Rei’s breakdown), Rei found himself following.

Rei stood, dripping, in the boy’s kitchen. Normally he would never have allowed such a rude thing to happen, but right now he wasn’t feeling particularly normal, and having now recovered a slight bit of composure, he flushed.

‘I’m- I- I’m sorry ab- ab- out this!’ he mumbled, scrunching his fingers together and wishing he’d never come into the house. But the warmth of this house, the squealing of the kettle and the kindness of this boy - it did seem so much more appealing than his own cold, empty house.

‘Don’t you dare apologise. I’m glad you’re recovering a bit, though.’ The boy gave a huge, and seemingly genuinley warm smile. ‘Here -’ he shoved the biggest mug of tea Rei had ever seen into his hands - it was hot, and steaming, and felt good- and grabbing one himself, led Rei into the living room.

‘Here, sit down,’ said the boy, clearing a spot on the squashy looking sofa, after placing his teacup on the coffee table and curling up on one side before jumping up again. ‘Actually, you’re soaked!’ he giggled, ‘One sec!’

He vanished into a side door, and Rei stood there awkwardly, pressing the mug to his lips although he knew sensibly that it was still far too hot to drink. God, his eyes stung painfully. He wondered if this boy had heard him making those disgustingly loud whooping noises as he tried desperately to catch his breath. _Probably, Rei._

The boy skipped back into the room and threw a towel at Rei. ‘Here you go, you can dry your hair. I’m afraid I don’t have any clothes that would fit you, but you don’t know me anyway so...’ he smiled nervously. ‘Anyway, my name’s Nagisa.’

Rei realised he must be looking a little dumbstruck. He certainly felt it. ‘Rei Ryugazaki,’ he mumbled in reply, rubbing his hair with the towel and then wiping his arms as well, before placing the towel down on the sofa and sitting gently on it, next to where Nagisa had plonked himself, knees tucked up beneath him.

‘I got you a pair of socks, if you want. It’s no trouble for me, but I always find having wet feet is the absolute _worst_!’

Rei looked at the stripy rainbow socks that Nagisa was holding out to him, and then at Nagisa himself, smiling gently, blonde hair slightly damp and flopping down into his large, bright eyes.

Rei’s eyes must be so red, and shadowed. They still hurt. As did his head. ‘I mean, you don’t have to take them, I won’t be offended or anything! Just an offer!’ Nagisa was blushing.

‘Oh no, no,’ Rei let out a noise that was somewhere between a chuckle and a choke, ‘I’d like to have the dry socks.’

‘Good! I’ll put yours on the radiator. Oh! And your shoes too. So, when you go, might not be so bad, you know?’

‘Yeah. Th- Thank you very much, Nagisa.’

‘Well, you were in my garden! And I recognised your uniform, and wondered if you were the same age as me. My exams didn’t... They didn’t go so great, either.’

Rei was suddenly surprised that he wasn’t the only one in the world capable of messing up.

‘Oh.’

‘Yeah, so. I thought I could at least maybe offer you a cup of tea. I find a cup of tea to be an essential, when you’re sad. Fortifying, ya’know?’

Rei didn’t really drink tea, but when he lifted the mug and took a gulp, it did in a way seem to fill him with a warmth that had been very empty a minute before.

‘It - You’re right,’ he said, trying to keep his composure for this bizarre blonde boy. ‘It was a bad exam. Really fu- _fucking_ bad.’

Nagisa pulled him into another hug as he choked back sobs. ‘Come on now, drink some tea,’ he said as he let go.

The two boys took sips of tea in unison.

‘Do you maybe wanna watch some TV?’ Nagisa asked.

‘Well...’ Rei considered TV to be a waste of everyone’s time. But he knew that if he went home now, he wouldn’t do anything productive. Either that or he’d make himself sick trying. ‘Okay.’

Nagisa flicked through the channels, talking rubbish as he did so, before settling on a bad comedy show that Rei had never really found funny. But watching Nagisa giggle, hearing his off-beat commentary as the characters fumbled around on-screen, Rei soon found himself encouraged to join in, until the two of them were discussing the bad jokes and laughing at the rare good ones, and Rei realised, dragging a hand through his now-drying hair, that he didn’t want to cry anymore.

When both teacups were drained, Rei looked at the clock and cringed. ‘I should probably be going, Nagisa.’

Nagisa looked up at the clock himself. ‘Shame. It was nice having you round, though! Rei nodded, even managing a smile. ‘Thank you so much, for the tea.’ ‘Honestly, it was no problem.’ Nagisa pulled himself up off the sofa after Rei, stretching his arms over his head. Let me go get your socks and shoes.’

Rei looked around him, at the warm cosiness of the lounge, the tea stains on the coffee table, the two dents in the squishy sofa where they had been sat. He bent down to pick up the towel, folding it over his arm and handing it back to Nagisa as he bounded back into the room. ‘Thanks,’ he repeated.

‘Shush, you. Now, your socks are still kinda damp so you can wear mine to go home if you like, _shush_ , and just return them to me some time, right? I don’t mind, they’re only socks - _honestly, it’s fine_ \- and I reckon from what you’ve said about yourself, you’re not one to forget them, anyway.’

‘No. No, I won’t. Thank you, Nagisa.’ ‘Stop it with all this thankyouing! You’ve been lovely company! I’d only be sat here on my own anyway.’

‘You frequently take sodden, miserable stray cats in off the street?’

‘Not usually, no,’ Nagisa said with another giggle, ‘But then I don’t often find them hugging the garden wall.’

Rei grinned shyly down at his feet, now encased in the garish rainbow socks.

‘Here are your shoes and socks,’ Nagisa handed them to Rei, who stuffed the socks ungraciously into his rucksack (right on top of that maths textbook which had clearly betrayed him.)

‘Well, I, uh - I’d better be going.’

‘Ah - yes. Yes, well, you seem a little better.’

And surprisingly, Rei felt it. He didn’t ponder that for long, just nodding, and holding out a hand awkwardly.

Nagisa laughed at him, and then pulled him into another hug. ‘Don’t leave and be sad, okay? And bring me back those socks, yeah?’

Rei turned to grab the door handle before changing his mind and looking back at Nagisa. ‘Maybe then, perhaps, I could - since you made me tea, and all - maybe I could buy you a coffee? Since, uh - I shall need to give you these socks back.’

A huge smile stretched over the blonde’s face, seemingly lighting it up. That warmth rushed through Rei again.

‘Yeah! That’d be nice! When are you free?’

‘Perhaps tomorrow, three o’clock at - uh - Starbucks?’

‘See you there, then!’

Rei turned back to open the door. ‘I look forward.’

As he left, Nagisa waving him off, Rei knew that he couldn’t forget about the exam, that he would still find himself miserable at some point, and that he would have problems to deal with. And yet... He didn’t feel all negative, anymore.

As he turned the corner away from Nagisa’s house, Rei realised with a very tiny measure of joy, that whilst his future was uncertain, he still at least, had things to look forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> what do u mean don't write fics about your real life lmao my eyes still sting but i do love my friends


End file.
